27 May 2015

Erotica, Erotic Romance, Monsters, and Aftercare

I have read that erotica is when two gay cowboys fuck each other, erotic romance is when two gay cowboys fuck each other and fall in love, and romance is when two gay cowboys fall in love, whether they fuck each other or not.

I can't help it, I'm a teddy bear, a softie. My stories have the most outrageous sex scenes imaginable, and there's also tenderness and perhaps even love. Does that mean I'm actually writing erotic romance? Possibly, but if so, the emphasis is still heavily on the erotic. I mean... goddamn, there's a lot of crazy fuckin' in my stories.

I dunno, I'm just thinking about these things after having just written a couple of interesting scenes that have left a bit of a mark on me. In my main series, The Erotic Apocalypse, the heroine, Veronica Hudson, is not well-liked by other human beings for the most part. They don't understand her, they judge her, they mistreat her. And she doesn't take shit from anyone. She gives it right back as good or better than she gets it.

But she's only a bitch to people who are assholes to her first, If you're fair to her, she's more than fair to you. Since most people are assholes to her, the reader doesn't get much of a chance to see that Veronica can be tender and loving and caring. She gets accused constantly of being like the very demons she hunts, and she is like them. And as the story progresses, in some ways she becomes even more demonic.

There is a scene in Angel's Kiss, which I'm now writing, where Veronica sexually pushes a young, innocent girl pretty far for it being the first time she's ever done anything "bad." This leaves the poor girl feeling a bit shaken and withdrawn. In BDSM circles, there is the very important notion of aftercare: caring for your sub after an intense session to ease their transition out of sub-space without being "dropped." In real life BDSM this is vital, but I don't think it ever shows up much in books or movies (except for in kink.com videos, where they make it a point to show the participants recovering and healthy after all the crazy shit they just did).

Normally, I'd want characters to make the worst possible decisions, because that's what drives the plot, that's where the juice is. And believe me, Veronica makes plenty of bad decisions. But I knew that this moment was not to be one of them. We had to see Veronica's true heart, see her as she can be, not as the monster others see her as.

So when she sees the young woman is shaken and withdrawn, she jumps into aftercare mode. She dries her off (they were in a bathtub), she puts clothes on her, as if she were dressing a child. She leads the young woman to a large couch and lays down with her, holding her close until she falls asleep.

Another character sees this tenderness and remarks on it to her, letting her know that in fact she is not a monster, that she not only has a heart, she has a big heart. The scene ends with Veronica herself in silent tears, because nobody ever sees this side of her or recognizes it.

I wrote this scene, and I thought... this is erotica?

Veronica adores this girl, but at the same time, she gets off on corrupting her, on leading her on to be "bad." And the girl herself wants to be bad, and in turn looks up to Veronica.

I don't know if this sort of thing is in most erotica, but for better or worse, it's in mine. 

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