11 July 2015

[Erotica Review] - Something New, by Patti Kake

Something New, by Patti Kake, is a first-time lesbian erotic romance. Two college roommates, Janie and Delilah, have no idea how hard they're going to fall for each other as Delilah offers to teach Janie how to experience carnal pleasure.


Janie and Delilah are college roommates, and complete opposites.

Janie's the embodiment of a good girl.

Delilah's a free spirited party girl.

When Delilah catches Janie drooling over their quarterback, Blake's, Facebook page, she is shocked Janie isn't as polished as she pretends to be.

Delilah comes up with a plan to help Janie come out of her shell in order to hook Blake. Janie tentatively agrees to accept Delilah's offer.

Neither girl expected the connection they form as their training heats up.

With graduation weeks away, they must decide if their feelings are worth fighting for. Or if they should go back to their prior plans, and forget their passionate nights alone in their apartment?

An erotic F/F novella with romance, humor, and a lot of steamy lesbian love.

My Review of Something New

I loved this book!

It was a great erotic romance. The plot conventions are what you'd expect for a romance (and that's not a bad thing at all, you have to get the formula right to succeed in any genre). Two people are surprised to find themselves falling in love with each other. Internal conflict and external forces try to tear the relationship apart. It's a close call, but love wins in the end. Sprinkle in great sex.

Except Patti does not sprinkle.

She backs up in a mammoth dump truck and unleashes several tons of oh-my-god-so-fucking-hot lesbian sex into this book. You just look at your Kindle and lesbian sex leaks out of it and gets all over your furniture.

Here's a bit from a scene where Delilah and Janie are showering together:

Delilah took her time massaging Janie’s breasts realizing how much she liked having her breast played with. Delilah took one hand and slid it down Janie’s body hissing when she felt her bare snatch flowing from the shower above.

Janie cried out when Delilah thrust her finger into her and massaged her clit at the same speed as her other hand massaging her taut nipple.

Janie’s head rested on Delilah’s shoulder and Delilah had the urge to mark her. Never had anyone burrowed into her heart the way Janie had done.

Janie was insatiable, and satisfied Delilah in everyway. Delilah bit down on Janie’s shoulder, sucking on the clean flesh wanting to make Janie hers.

As soon as Delilah’s teeth sunk into Janie’s shoulder an orgasm blasted through Janie. She cried out as she ground her pulsating clit into Delilah’s finger. Delilah held onto her shoulder with her mouth as Janie’s orgasm ripped through her.


The story is that Janie and Delilah are an "odd couple" of college roommates. Janie is the Beverly Hills princess from a wealthy family and Darlene is the rebellious free spirit with attitude. Janie is crushing hard on their college's quarterback, Black. Delilah offers to help Janie become more experienced in the ways of carnal pleasure in order to help her catch Blake.

Neither girl is a lesbian. But everyone's got a little gay in them, and sometimes all it takes is simply the right person at the right time to make you wonder what if? Delilah does just that. She feels a sudden inexplicable attraction to Janie. She can't explain it but she rolls with it and suggests to Janie she giver her carnal "lessons."

These lessons are the bulk of the sexual content of the book. It's a great pretext for hot first time lesbian sexplorations. The vulnerability and desire these two feel for each other almost smokes right off the page (well, screen, really).

Besides the Blistering Lesbian Sex, Here's What I Loved

As Janie and Delilah fell in love with each other, I fell in love with them. The tension Patti creates in this story is excellent and nearly unbearable. Janie wants to touch Delilah so badly but feels she shouldn't because that's not part of their "lessons." What she doesn't know is that Delilah, much to her own surprise, is simply dying for Janie's touch. I was mentally yelling at the screen: JESUS CHRIST, JANIE, JUST FUCKING TOUCH HER.

When these two girls fell in love, it felt like real love. When outside forces threatened to tear their relationship apart, I completely forgot that I knew the romance plot formula about how these things are supposed to work. I just wanted them back together again and I hated every second they were apart from each other. Despite that my own stories are full of blood, cum, depravity, and monstrous things, I'm actually just a softie at heart and there were times I teared up reading this story (when I wasn't reading it one-handed, that is).


I liked this book so much that my criticisms of it are minor and are far outweighed by everything I loved about the story. But if I were to give an honest review then I should mention where I saw how things could've been better.

Word choice is a very subjective thing. What seems hot and sexy to one person can be very jarring and unappealing to another. So, keeping that in mind, I felt that the language and word choices at times could have been better. Words like hole, sawed, and slashed were jarring to me. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with hole, but if you use it too soon during a vulnerable, tender encounter, it's going to be jarring to me. Sawing and slashing are not words I feel should be used when talking about cute juicy little pussies.

In erotica, repetitive language is a persistent problem. It's a problem that's nearly impossible to get away from, because attempts at variety can sound clumsy and ring false. I found the repetition of the word pulsate to be a mild annoyance.Throbbed or twitched or spasmed probably could have worked in a few instances. Pulsate just didn't "read sexy" to me. But again, that's such a personal, subjective thing.

The last thing I might mention is that the title doesn't really give us much of an idea about the story in the book. Sure, first time lesbian experiences definitely counts as a "new thing," but I would have liked to see a more evocative (and provocative!) title.

Final Recommendation and Links

Definitely get this book if you want to read some wickedly fun lesbian romance!

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